Why am I making this entry? Well, seriously? I dunno either, but I just feel that I need to make this entry once and for all. (NAKS! Me ganun? HAHAHA Ansabeh?) Kebs! Walang basagan ng trip! I just want to! CHOS!).
Well, I want to have a regular entry on my blog (HAHA naks!) but as much as I wanted to I don’t have much time, because I’ve just had so much stuff to do (Naks! Ako na busy! Charought! HAHA) and had little time to be on my thoughts and gather all down here (HAHA). I just want to share my thoughts, feelings (at kung my kung anek-anek in life HAHAHA). Others may not like it but (kebs! Care ko? Hahaha) my blog wasn’t made to please you (HAHA Ang taray lang! Charought!). You are free to stop reading this blog and leave. It’s your choice!
But for those who care and curious enough to read here it goes, it’s gonna be quite long so bear with me, HAHA or you can stop reading no one’s stopping you (HAHAHA taray!)
My 2013, which is obviously that was last year HAHA has been a roller coaster ride. The first quarter was a bit okay, then suddenly everything was falling apart (ang drama lang, HAHA). I quit my job, left the stability of being employed, cause I feel that I don’t want to do that same thing anymore. But I don’t know what to do either, feel so confused that time (huhu chos! Haha). But after long time of thinking (actually it’s just a few days lang naman haha) I found what I wanted to do with my life haha, (Naks! Ako na!). Everything’s started to fall into place naman THANK YOU LORD! My mid-year became awesome! Jobs, friends, social life, family, plus THAT THING happenedahaha you’ll find out more about this haha wait lang wag atat, have patience haha) It’s like I couldn’t ask for more, everything that I could ask for was right there and then, it was almost PERFECT! (ako na blessed haha)
Of course, I was so thankful that everything that I always wish and pray for was happening, jobs (jobs kasi madami charought! Mga raket haha chos!) friends = social life haha, my family which is always awesome naman haha, anong kulang? Yes, tama ka dyan sa naisip mo! Love! Chos na chos! Haha
I can’t really remember when it exactly happened though, haha! So THAT THING, oh well he’s my looonnngggg ttiiimmmeee crush, haha when I say long time, since high school ko pa sya crush haha, Oha! Kinaya mo yun? His really cute/attractive kasi for me HAHA. His really nice, mabait pa and matalino as well. God fearing and very concern sa society, and sa kanyang kapwa tao HAHA. We have common friends so that’s how we knew each other, but it was just last year that we really became friends and not just acquaintance, haha. So, imagined how awesome is that? Your long time crush finally, after ilang years you became friends na with him, haha. But it was not that kilig anymore maybe because di ko na siya masyadong crush that time (wee? Haha seryoso!) It just awesome cause I never imagined that I will be friends with him, that it is possible pala haha (Echosera! Uuyy there’s like that pala HAHA #AyanTayoEh)
Since, we’re friends na we stared hanging out, he meet some of my close friends, went and visited in our shoot, drop by to my meetings, watch movie with my friends. We started talking more than the usual times that we’re talking (you know what I mean? Chos! haha). We used different or almost all kinds of communication hahaha to have constant communication with each other. It started ng once in a while lang, the usual small talk then dumadalas na kaming magkausap, madalas like every hour, every minute, haha literally 24/7 (hanggang sa nakakatulugan nalang namin na kausap ang isa’t isa #clingersz haha). Seems, like our day wasn’t complete when we don’t talk to each other. He makes paalam pa and tell me kung anong ganap niya the whole day, sinong kasama niya, etc. even though he doesn’t need to do that, HAHA. We’ll at first it was kilig and gives me an awesome feeling, that someone’s always checking on how’s my day, making sure I’m always okay and safe, if I’m eating on the right time, if nakauwi ako ng safe. Taray di ba? In short para lang kaming #MagJowaKuno HAHAHA. He becomes din the one that I always run to if I need to rant on someone or somethings that doesn’t go on my way and he makes me feel better naman, he acknowledge what I’m feeling at the moment and takes away all the bad feeling and replace it with positive vibes. (NAKS! HAHA #AyanNaNamanTayoEh).
Seems so perfect right? Hay -.- But ewan ko ba sa lola niyo kung anong nangyari! HAHAHA. I feel really overwhelmed with all the things that’s happening. The jobs/projects that I accepted needs my full attention and feel like I need to choose between career and THAT THING (HAHAHA Artista?). I wanted to make things work with my career and just focus on getting on the goals that I’ve set for myself and suddenly feel being with someone is not really my priority as of that moment. I felt pressured and scared that because we talked so much everyday we just end up one day na wala ng mapag-usapan and magkasawaan. I felt like I need space (HAHA Taray need space agad!). We’ll I told him naman how I felt and he gave me space naman that I need, once in a while nalang kaming mag-usap in one day so literally everyday pa din HAHAHA. So, for me mas lalo akong napressured HAHA (#Feelings!).
What I did, was I started to make him turn off, do stuff that I think he doesn’t like. I think it worked naman cause minsan nalang kaming mag-usap and to the point that we don’t talked to each other for days. So my planned worked! HAHAHA At first I felt so relieved and happy that parang no ones pressuring me haha but as the days went by I felt like I missed him, being makulit, who’s just always there and want to go back to the days like it was before. (Ang baliw lang di ba? HAHA)
I started to make bawi to him, try to make up with all the messed that I did. Cause maybe what I felt before wasn’t really being pressured maybe it was really more of being scared because I don’t want to get hurt and trying to go away from a commitment (kasi nga ang peg ko lang allergic sa commitment HAHA) but what happened was, it’s not just me who got hurt but at the same time he got hurt as well.
At first, it was okay and trying to make things work again, until someone wants to patch things up with him also. (KKLK! HAHA). So, I leave him the decision (UP TO YOU DUDE! HAHA). Told him also wasn’t really sure of what I’m feeling as of that moment so ang lolo niyo ayun, dun na siya sa sure! HAHA
So that’s what happened with THAT THING HAHA But we’re still friends pa din naman until now, HAHA it’s just, its not the same anymore, of course! One things for sure if I need a him as a friend for sure he will always be there naman, wag lang muna ngayon pag wala nalang siguro ang lahat ng #Feelings HAHA Ansabeh??
Now, its time to start fresh! and sabi nga sa movie na FROZEN “LET IT GO” HAHAHA